Untitled

Love is near yet seems so distant
Self love is present, still something is missing
A void of someone I've yet to meet
Feelings are something I tend to hide,
but this is hard to keep discreet
Never fell in love, just stumbled into it
To find that someone seems impossible, but I refuse to quit
Till I find my missing Rib, the Eve to this Adam
The Bonnie to this Clyde, the Jasmine to this Aladdin
I've shared my likes with many but haven't share my love yet
Been to the beach with friends, but haven't found one to share the view of the sunset
As time continues to tick and tock, this search continues
Hopefully I'll be able to bless my eyes with the sight of you

They say no pain no glory/Now I know all the pain and glory wasn't meant for me/But I suffer and I'm glorified for the one of truly adores me/The one that can bring me back from death and restore me/He knew all my trials and tribulations before me/So my story is His story/The future isnt seen by me but to Him the future is history

My heart is the hotel where loves reside/Room service brings Love rays of sunshine/Love's room is decorated with a smile and a rainbow/Love's occupations is helping people let there pain go/Love doesn't get paid with monetary funds/She gets paid when she gets two souls to become one

Not looking for a desperate housewife or a real housewife of Atlanta/Doesn't have to be a Taurus, Aries, Pisces or Cancer/Just a woman of virtue, a woman with high standards/Carry herself like a Proverbs 31 woman, and doesn't lack manners/She'll be on my mind more than dandruff/I'll be her number one fan in her Man Of God fan club/We can slow dance while we hold hands/I'll be the one and only "Man" in her roMANce

"Untitled" Very Personal....Me Being Transparent

I’ve dealt with pornography, with pornography
At times its been hard for me to sing “It’s the God in me”
I was putting a lot in me that was not in me
Forgetting that God is the one who lives in me
So many times I’ve said God forgive me
Do away with all that you don’t want in me
Looking at things I shouldn’t be looking at
Make me ashamed even now whenever I look back
I didn’t know what I was opening myself up to
Committing sin looking at sin, how can I say “I love you”
I look up to you knowing you probably looking down on me
Filled with guilt, I didn’t even want to be around me
I’ve done things I wouldn’t want to utter
To my friends my father not even my mother
I’ve looked at things that my mind finds it hard forget
“What happened to letting God order my footsteps”
I asked myself. How did I let it get this far
I no longer know who I am, Lord do I know who you are?
Wish I could take it all back, every last sin
“Why don’t you take my life” is what I would ask him
I’m only human……no longer is that a good excuse
Wishing this stronghold of porn would let me loose
Or am I the one holding on of what I want to be loose of
I felt like Oj, and my spirit was Anna, I need a new glove
Christ was crucified so that I may live righteous
Yet porn was the reason my spirit felt lifeless
God is this my test? Is this my battle?
This serpent is wrapped around me, I can hear his rattle
God must be mourning because his Sons went astray
God give me life but I doubt he gave me it to live it this way
So many times, I’ve prayed the same prayer
Saying Father God, I know you’re my Lord and savior
I’m broken inside, I need your superglue
Forgiven is the reason I come to you
Rescue me from me and deliver me to you
I put myself in this, how can I blame you?
Seeing me being consumed with lust probably pains you
You sent your son to be slain, it seems like I want to slain him too
How can I live a sinful life yet still represent you and your Sons name too
In secret I’m at war internally and I feel like I’m losing
The more I fight, the more my spirit is taking a bruising
I know I’m not the only one that has dealt with this
Nor am I the only one that has heard the serpents hiss
But I will not give up on this or any other wars I fight
I am not fighting this war for myself, but I’m fighting it for Christ
He died for me so I shall not let his death be in vain
Nor will I let my past or present add any shame to my name
I have nothing to lose but I have everything to gain
Wars and battles comes with joy and pain
God allow me to stand strong no matter how long
Let me fight till the fat lady sings her last song
Even in my darkest hour, let me not fear calling on you
If I fall, let me not fall in sin but let me fall on you
Let me die daily and crucify my flesh
And constantly remind myself to let you order my footsteps

........Didn't know I felt like this on the inside.......

Living with a disability sometimes make me wish I had a cloak of invisibility
And even makes me get depressed about my disability instead of being grateful for my abilities
Life itself is something to be thankful for
But being given this disability makes it hard to say thank you Lord
He doesn't give one more than they can bare
That doesnt mean that it won't make one shed a few tears
Lord forgive me for feeling the way I'm feeling
I guess this is my way of saying I need some of your healing
I've never questioned you and I don't want to start now
But at times I can't help to ask "Why, When & How"
I know you love me Lord and I hope you know I love you
I would never put nothing or no one above you
But I just have to speak what is internal
Because you already know me inside and out without reading my journal
I don't want pity, Lord just continue be and stay with me
And to all my facebook friends, All I ask is that you pray for and with me
As I pray that we all could see beauty in what some call imperfection
Instead of giving ourselves a reason to give it our rejection
I never asked to be healed because I was grateful for who I am
But maybe healing is something that was and still is in your plan
My mom taught me to love myself wholeheartedly
And not just love a specific part of me
And I've done a good job of that so far
Never asked anyone to walk in my shoes
because some people couldn't go thru what I've been thru
But at times I wish I didnt have to go thru what I go thru
I'm saying all of this to say and show you
Life is life regardless of if you love it or hate it
We all have made it alot further than we thought we would make it
God give us lives so we might as well take it
And he promised never to leave us. His promise....he doesn't break it
I just had to vent because keeping this in would do more harm than good
With all that being said.......God still and will forever remain Good

Sometimes I wonder how I keep on smiling when everything around me is telling to frown/When my downs seem to be ups and my ups seems to be downs/Time doesn't go back so why should I?/Situations trying to keep my grounded but something in me tells me to fly/Fly as in elevate the spirit man within me/I still got alot of life in me even tho I may feel empty/Still got some living to do, still got some giving to do/Words of life is what God wants me to give to you

C-Note

Loving you is like second nature to me

Like covering my mouth when I sneeze

or knowing to inhale and exhale in order to breathe

Even opening my eyes in order for me to see

You saw the best in me, your love you invested in me

Now I realize your an Angel, God made you to be a blessing to me

I admire even what you may not admire about yourself

Before, my heart was a dark empty, now you a candle on the shelf

Can't help but to smile when I see you smile

Just know your smile is the reason my smile will last for a while

I would be telling a lie if I said I wouldnt want us to be together

But even when I become my best....I still want you to be with someone better

I just pray that he adds to your beauty and personality

And as an angel you grace him with a little of Gods heavenly reality

I love you more than you will even know

Even if that's something that you will never know

Let your heart be the hotel that peace & joy book a honeymoon suite in

Just something I thought about

The bible states" A man that findeth a wife findeth a good thing" right? But because you found her doesn't mean you were necessararily looking or that you have to look. Ever found a dollar in the street or the store you were shopping in and it was laying on the ground. Before you found that dollar, were you looking for it to begin with?No it just happen to be at a specific place you just happen to be and you found it

Accept change in the weather pattern in your life.....If its stormy in your life.....expect the sun to shine soon. If the sun is shining, know that storms are likely to come.......but not stay......Bless

Whats Good???

Everyone knows that old saying "never say never", well I just proved to myself how true that saying is, because I never thought I'd have any reason for having my own blog....and plus I'm not much of a typer unless Im in the typing frame of mind but I realized that me having my own blog could benefit me more than I once thought. So here I am with my own blog....who knew. The main reason I would utilize my blog is to post my poetic works of art since I have so many scattered through various emails and various sites....at least now I can post them here to be viewed and to be retrieved if needed....and of course I'd use my blog to shed light on myself, my ideas, my thoughts, and most importantly my life. Well thats all......for now....till next time




One Love




P.S.


I gotta give a shoutout to my little sister Shivonne even tho she didnt personally tell my to have my own blog but by reading her blog, it gave me encouragement to have my own.....you can view her blog here

http://shivyj.blogspot.com/

Love Ya Shivy

My Prayer

Dear father thy which dwells above

That on a continual basis manage to show us so much love

That treat us as if we was one of his own

Even though we are the ones that bow at your throne

You are the one that died on the cross

And shed your blood so our sins may be washed away, you paid the ultimate cost

I ask that you bless me and those that surround themselves around me

With successes and good times so abundantly

That you will wipe every tear that has been shed

Do away with hurtful emotions and hurtful words that might be said

Vanish our fears which keep us from succeeding

Help us spread the gospel so others can start believing

And achieving a relationship with your holiness, that's the ultimate goal

So one day they too may also walk the heavenly streets of gold

Help those who don't know you to walk with you

And guide the lost souls of earth towards you and help them talk to you

You are a father figure for every human being alive

Nourishing us while teaching us whats wrong and whats right

Lord we sometimes tend to make mistakes and are too discourage to ask

for a helping hand

The devil want our faith to sink like a space oasis filled with sinking sand

Help us to learn that thru depression is progression

And that we learn and grow from everyone of those lessons

I understand that I am not made to be perfect

Because my flesh is still living and my spirit hasn't risen to heaven yet

But help me to become the ones that wins souls for you

So that one day these fleshly hands will be spiritual hands that are

able to hold you

Lord as I ask these mercies, I just want to make amends

Be my leader and I'll be your follower, Lord Jesus Christ Amen